How Bad do the Blazers Stink?

Bad. Very, very bad. Unlike my dad, I'm hopeful about their future. But for now, we can all agree that they are very bad.

The (Trail)Blazers are my hometown NBA team, to which I have been loyal my entire conscious sport-fan life. Usually, questions about how bad they are (questions I never even had to ask until just a few years ago) are settled by sophisticated analysis and debate, ideally over sticky barroom tables at Portland's finest microbreweries. But over here in New Zealand, we have another way to answer that question: quantitatively.

Here in NZ, sports gambling is legal. The TAB, as it's known, has the Blazers as longest shot in the NBA to win the title. Now, we all know that they're not going to win the title, but it's a rough awakening to find that they're the worst bet in the NBA.

How long of a shot are they? Well, if you've got the stones, they're in the cellar with Atlanta and Charlotte at a whopping $750-to-1 payout. Charlotte and Atlanta. There's a grouping I never thought my team would be a part of.

Say that you're more of a conservative type. You could put down $1 on them just winning the Western Conference, and you'd get $300 in return. But, alas, that's the cellar in the West too. The next worst bet? The New Orleans Hornets, at $200-to-1. That's just sad: you're taking 50% longer shot to bet on the Blazers than the freaking Hornets.